d100

Black Market Wares

Dubious goods from shady stalls, fences and back-alley dealers.

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Black Market Wares — 100 entries
d100	Result
1	A ring of keys 'from the old palace' - three fit nothing anymore, one fits something it should not.
2	A jar of glowing eels that spell short words when they think no one is watching.
3	Maps of the city sewers, hand-corrected, with one route inked in gold and labeled 'rent due'.
4	A dozen candlesticks with the crest freshly filed off, sold as a 'matched set, provenance rustic'.
5	A sleeping potion 'used by the duchess herself' - the label is real, which raises questions.
6	Weighted dice so masterfully made that casinos buy them back just to study.
7	A parrot that knows one password and will not say which door it opens, only that it does.
8	Silk scarves that pass through pocket seams 'for professionals of the crowded marketplace'.
9	A tax stamp die, only slightly out of date, 'for theatrical productions'.
10	Bottled fog, guaranteed thick, harvested 'from the good bank of the river'.
11	A dagger that refuses to cut its previous owner, who is, the fence admits, still looking for it.
12	Love letters between two noble houses currently at war - originals, scandalous, priced per house.
13	A wheel of contraband cheese from a monastery under embargo; the smell alone is smuggling.
14	Grave goods 'ethically sourced from the unclaimed'; the receipts are suspiciously thorough.
15	A watchman's uniform, cleaned, pressed, with a note of his patrol habits pinned inside.
16	Invisible ink and its reader-stone, sold separately, at opposite ends of the market, on principle.
17	A songbird trained to sing loudly on command - 'the perfect alibi for conversations'.
18	Lockpicks of dwarven make hidden inside a prayer book with a hollowed sermon on honesty.
19	A ledger page from a moneylender's office, sold blank side out; the front is the product.
20	Second-hand wedding rings, sorted by how the marriage ended.
21	A vial of 'authentic dragon sweat' - it is pond water, but it is pond water from THAT pond.
22	Boots with hollow heels, pre-broken-in, 'previous owner needed them urgently and briefly'.
23	A guild seal ring, 'found', with the guild's reward poster for it helpfully attached to gauge value.
24	Imported fireworks banned since the Incident; the seller's eyebrows confirm the stories.
25	A city guard's notebook, half full; the remaining names have prices next to them already.
26	Smoke bombs in festival colors, 'for weddings', winked.
27	A shipment of saints' finger bones; there are, a scholar notes, too many fingers for the saint on the label.
28	Skeleton keys sold with a strict no-questions policy and a stricter no-refunds one.
29	A folding grappling hook disguised as a candelabra, or possibly the reverse.
30	Antidotes numbered one through nine; the seller recommends buying the set 'if you dine out much'.
31	A cursed coin that always returns to its spender; sold, spent, and resold hourly at this very stall.
32	Hair dye that fools truth spells about your hair color and, oddly, only that.
33	A noble's signet, wax kit and handwriting samples: 'the correspondence starter bundle'.
34	Moonshine distilled from fey fruit; drinkers report dancing, prophecy and missing eyebrows.
35	A crate of crossbow bolts fletched with feathers from a bird sacred two kingdoms over.
36	The confession of a hanged man, notarized, exonerating a person the buyer may choose.
37	A rope that unties itself when its knot is whistled at; the tune is sold separately, of course.
38	Tunnel rights beneath the mint - 'expired', the seller admits, 'but the tunnel does not know that'.
39	Beetles that eat only wax seals, sold with tiny leashes.
40	An unsigned arrest warrant, official paper, official ink; bring your own name.
41	Perfume that smells like a different person's trail to any tracking hound.
42	A pawned holy symbol that still works, which the fence finds theologically upsetting and priced accordingly.
43	Window glass cut to fit the manor on the hill, 'a common size', sold with felt gloves.
44	A trained magpie with a taste for signet rings and a portfolio of prior work.
45	Dream powder, one pinch per nightmare, sold by a vendor who clearly never sleeps.
46	A half share in a smuggling tunnel currently, temporarily, full of river.
47	Manacles with a hidden release, sold in pairs: one honest, one not; do keep track.
48	A stack of theater masks with the faces of prominent citizens, 'for satire', allegedly.
49	Wine relabeled so many times the bottle is mostly label; the vintage inside is, ironically, priceless.
50	A tame shadow, sold at dusk only, that will hold your place in any queue.
51	Blueprints of the new prison, drawn from memory by its architect, who now resides there and wants visitors.
52	A whistle audible only to city guard dogs, teaching them, over time, to expect treats from strangers.
53	Counterfeit pilgrim badges for six shrines, plus one real one 'that got mixed in, good luck'.
54	A glass eye that weeps when its original owner lies; the owner is a sitting magistrate.
55	Sealed evidence from a closed trial, sold by weight, contents guaranteed 'interesting'.
56	An ointment that fades brands and scars, popular with exactly whom you would expect.
57	A deed to a house that burns down every nineteen years, priced attractively in year eighteen.
58	Silver melted from cursed heirlooms, recast as very reasonable spoons; the curses, the smith swears, mostly cancel out.
59	A pocketwatch that runs fast in honest company and slow among thieves; here, it is nearly stopped.
60	The retirement journal of a master burglar, in cipher, sold with the first page pre-solved 'as a taste'.
61	Wardstones pried from a witch's fence, still warm, still muttering, sold in nets of three.
62	A ferry token for a crossing that officially does not exist, valid, per the stamp, 'always'.
63	Gloves that leave someone else's fingerprints - a specific someone, discontinued, final sale.
64	A chorister's robe, unremarkable, save that its wearer is never questioned in any temple.
65	Poison labels only - the bottles are yours to fill - 'for pranks', the sign insists.
66	A cage of message doves, each already sworn to an address the seller declines to reveal.
67	The private diary of 'a person of quality', with an auction each dusk for the right to burn it.
68	A brick from the counting house wall, sold with a map of which wall and, crucially, when.
69	Mirror shards that show the viewer as the person they were pretending to be at the time of the crime.
70	A bell muffled so perfectly it rings silence - burglars hang it on doors to swallow the alarm.
71	Letters of passage signed by a general who died before the ink dried; legally fascinating, practically superb.
72	An honest man's reputation, sold by the man himself, who is done with it and wants a boat.
73	Cats trained to trip pursuers on stairs; the trainer's leg brace lends the pitch conviction.
74	A vault dial, pre-scarred with the wear pattern of its combination, 'decorative'.
75	Sea charts of the customs patrol routes, updated weekly, priced daily, trusted never.
76	A memory, in a locket: the last safe combination its previous owner ever memorized. Buyer beware whose.
77	Militia armor, dented theatrically, 'for veterans of wars that lacked openings'.
78	A tunnel-rat's census of every loose flagstone in the merchant quarter, rated by squeak.
79	Two tickets to tonight's execution, front row - and a third, unexplained, for backstage.
80	A jar of official red tape, literal, spooled; wrap any object and watchmen will assume paperwork exists.
81	The debt book of a dead loan shark; half the town would pay to see it; the other half, to not.
82	Chalk that marks doors with signs only other buyers of this chalk can see; the vocabulary chart costs extra.
83	A rowboat folded, somehow, to satchel size; unfolding it indoors voids everything.
84	A warlord's peace pipe, stolen mid-negotiation; two armies are still waiting politely for its return.
85	Smoked spectacles that reveal which market stalls are fronts; every pair sold is watched home.
86	The apprentice fee refund contract of a notorious assassin school, uncollected, transferable, ticking.
87	A ring of invisibility for the left hand only; reviews praise the discount and describe the learning curve.
88	Bottled applause, one use, deafening, 'for exits'.
89	A watch captain's resignation letter, undated, signed, bought years ago as insurance and now needing a new home.
90	Nails from a gallows, bent into fishhooks; they catch, the seller says, only the guilty. Fish included free.
91	A tapestry stolen so famously that displaying it is the point; it comes with its own wanted poster, framed.
92	Receipts. Blank, aged, from forty defunct shops, in bundles: 'proof of purchase for whatever you already own'.
93	A sedan chair with a false floor, prior occupant 'transported successfully, mostly'.
94	The true name of a minor demon, written on a card inside seven envelopes, discounted, urgently.
95	A locksmith's apology letter and the master key it accompanies; the letter is addressed to the city.
96	Barrels marked SALT FISH whose smell is store-bought and reapplied weekly with a brush.
97	A pardon with the name water-damaged 'by tragic accident', notary seal miraculously intact.
98	Directions to this market, sold at triple price outside it; the joke is that they work only once.
99	A stall selling nothing but alibis, by the hour, with witnesses on retainer and a loyalty program.
100	Roll twice more; the seller insists the two items are 'a set' and will not split them.