d100

NPC Quirks

Habits, tics and traits that make any NPC memorable in seconds.

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NPC Quirks — 100 entries
d100	Result
1	Always speaks in a near-whisper, forcing everyone to lean in.
2	Collects buttons and openly appraises yours mid-conversation.
3	Refers to themselves in the third person, but only when nervous.
4	Constantly polishes something: a coin, a badge, a single spoon.
5	Laughs a beat too late at every joke, then far too long.
6	Quotes their grandmother for every occasion; the quotes contradict each other.
7	Is convinced they have met you before and will not be told otherwise.
8	Ends every sentence with a small, satisfied nod.
9	Keeps a live snail in their breast pocket and consults it on decisions.
10	Never sits with their back to a window, and rearranges chairs to avoid it.
11	Chews fennel seeds and offers them to everyone, twice.
12	Uses grand titles for everyone: 'my lord baker', 'her excellency the stable girl'.
13	Cannot start a task without cracking every knuckle in order.
14	Wears a mourning band for a pet that died fifteen years ago.
15	Corrects everyone's grammar, apologizing profusely while doing it.
16	Hums sea shanties despite never having seen the sea.
17	Counts coins by stacking them into little towers before paying.
18	Keeps glancing at the door as if expecting someone specific.
19	Introduces their weapon by name before introducing themselves.
20	Has a firm, wet handshake and total confidence in it.
21	Insists on paying for everything in exact change, slowly.
22	Speaks to animals as equals and to nobles as animals.
23	Smells faintly of a spice nobody can quite place.
24	Writes down everything anyone says in a tiny, battered notebook.
25	Claims every scar has the same story, told differently each time.
26	Never says 'yes' - only 'we shall see', even to obvious things.
27	Wears gloves indoors and eats with them on.
28	Whistles through a gap in their teeth when thinking hard.
29	Names every price in eggs first, then converts to coin.
30	Blinks conspicuously rarely.
31	Apologizes to furniture when bumping into it.
32	Has memorized the local law code and cites paragraph numbers casually.
33	Always stands exactly one step too close.
34	Sniffs any coin before accepting it, and rejects one in ten.
35	Keeps their hood up indoors 'because of drafts'.
36	Talks with their hands so much that drinks nearby are in danger.
37	Believes firmly in an ointment that fixes everything, and carries it.
38	Refuses to say the name of the local river; calls it 'that one'.
39	Wears seven rings and turns a specific one when lying.
40	Greets everyone with a different, elaborate secret handshake they invented.
41	Is aggressively proud of their handwriting and finds excuses to show it.
42	Sings the last word of a sentence when in a good mood.
43	Has strong opinions about soup and shares them unprompted.
44	Repeats the last three words anyone says, quietly, like an echo.
45	Never blows out a candle without saying a tiny farewell to it.
46	Keeps a tally of every favor owed to them, sealed in wax.
47	Wears their belt over their coat and will defend the choice.
48	Calls every young person 'sprout' and every old person 'captain'.
49	Cannot pass a mirror without straightening something.
50	Chews on a wooden toothpick carved like a tiny sword.
51	Describes distances only in 'days of walking with my knee'.
52	Taps any doorframe twice before walking through.
53	Openly narrates their own haggling: 'and now I act insulted'.
54	Has an obviously fake accent that slips when startled.
55	Feeds crumbs to birds mid-conversation without breaking eye contact.
56	Refers to their spouse only as 'the administration'.
57	Cries easily and freely, especially at good news.
58	Cracks their neck before answering any hard question.
59	Insists a rival merchant is behind everything, including the weather.
60	Uses 'we' exclusively; nobody has ever seen the other person.
61	Wears spectacles with one clearly plain glass lens.
62	Recites a short blessing over every meal, weapon, and doorway.
63	Is always slightly out of breath, even when sitting.
64	Collects foreign curses and deploys them with scholarly precision.
65	Draws little maps to answer any question, even 'how are you'.
66	Keeps their coin purse inside a second, angrier-looking purse.
67	Compliments strangers' boots as an icebreaker, always boots.
68	Claims to be retired from a profession they clearly still practice.
69	Snaps their fingers when remembering something, loudly, both hands.
70	Refuses to whisper; their 'quiet voice' is a stage mutter.
71	Always eats dessert first, citing mortality.
72	Has named their wheelbarrow and speaks well of it.
73	Interrupts themselves constantly with 'but that is another story'.
74	Wears a flower matching the day of the week.
75	Distrusts anyone who does not like dogs, and says so.
76	Answers questions with questions, apologizing every time.
77	Keeps exact count of how many times each person has laughed at their jokes.
78	Folds anything foldable: napkins, letters, other people's maps.
79	Stares into the middle distance mid-sentence, then resumes perfectly.
80	Claims their left ear can hear lies; it is their right that twitches.
81	Offers everyone tea, has never once actually had tea available.
82	Ends negotiations by spitting in their palm; nobles find this distressing.
83	Remembers everyone's name but assigns them the wrong professions.
84	Speaks of the town's founding as if they had been there. They might have.
85	Carries a chair leg 'from the old place' for luck.
86	Practices their signature in the air during dull moments.
87	Always positions themselves nearest the exit and denies it.
88	Grades every sunset aloud; standards are exacting.
89	Has a bell on their belt and jingles when startled, which is often.
90	Quietly stacks anything unstacked on the table while talking.
91	Talks to their coin purse to reassure it during purchases.
92	Uses nautical terms for everything despite living inland: 'aft door', 'port stool'.
93	Keeps pressing small useful gifts on people: string, nails, a raisin.
94	Never finishes the last bite of any meal, 'for the house spirits'.
95	Absolutely will not discuss cheese, and everyone knows not to ask.
96	Introduces every story as 'a short one' - none are.
97	Has perfect posture that becomes alarming when they finally slouch.
98	Points with their chin, hands firmly in pockets.
99	Memorizes one fact about each stranger and opens with it next meeting.
100	Roll twice more; this NPC has both quirks, and they are related.